The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
