Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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