Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
