If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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