goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
