My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
