I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize