Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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