So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
