We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she told me i tasted like america
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's shark week go big or go home
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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