i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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