I CAN MOONWALK!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize