I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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