oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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