you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
