Im at strip club and am horny
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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