I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
