He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize