South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
