never play flip cup with pint glasses
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
