I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
