So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
