i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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