y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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