If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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