ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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