fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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