im drinking this country out of the recession.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
