I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
