i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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