mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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