so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He better not be in your backpack
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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