and i looked up. we had an audience...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
