drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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