So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize