they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
PANTIES FOUND
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
