Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
