And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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