i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
