u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
