i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
