doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
