just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
