Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
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If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
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So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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