just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Operation Purity has been aborted
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
