i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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