"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I know her cup size but not her name....
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