guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
