Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
