What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
