first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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