Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
