there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize