Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
