oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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