what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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