Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
