last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
