he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
