he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
