this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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