Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
