Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
