when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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