She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
